The German Pearl Clutch

I will occasionally make fun of my German friends for what I call "The German Pearl Clutch".  They don't really understand it, mainly because the term "pearl clutch" is somewhat dated slang that they have never heard.  Once I explain it to them, they still don't get it.  So what is the German Pearl Clutch?

Go up to a German and tell them that the US doesn't have any legally required paid maternity leave (OK, I know in CA and NJ and maybe some other states you're required to get 65% of your pay for some weeks, but we're talking federal right now).  Or go tell them some story about how you know someone who lost their health insurance pre-Obamacare, because they were 19 and on medical leave and therefore no longer a student anymore or about how your friend decided to go without a certain medication or treatment because they couldn't afford the copay.  I dare you.  However, you better bring the smelling salts, because the shock might knock them out for a while.

You see, Germans live in a society where everyone has healthcare, the parental leave is generous (Women get 6 weeks 100% paid maternity leave before birth and then 8 weeks 100% paid after birth.  After that, the two parents can split up to 14 months leave with 65% pay.  If one parent of the child chooses not to take leave, they lose out on 2 months, obviously this rule does not apply to single parents), get free university education, and have a generally more comprehensive welfare system.  Whenever their social safety net fails, they do a considerable amount of hand-wringing about how the system is failing people.  One example was told to me by my Zweites Deutsches Blog coauthor.  She was listening to the radio and some people were worrying how 25% of children were on Hartz IV  (I'm not quite sure if we're talking about 25% of children in the Bundesland she lives in or in Germany, but really it doesn't matter).  The people were worrying about how Germany was failing the children and we both had to sort of laugh at it from an American perspective.  Being on welfare in Germany leaves you in a lot better of a situation than being on welfare in the US, the children are probably going to be fine.

In my opinion, the German Pearl Clutch comes from this handwringing.  When I read a story about an American dying of a tooth ache because they lack health insurance, I am appalled, but I am unfortunately not shocked. When a German reads a story about this, they are not only shocked and appalled, but the American resistance to healthcare reform confuses them.  It's enough to give some a temporary case of the vapors.  I have had someone ask me how the US can fail to do all these things and still consider itself an advanced country.  This question is definitely loaded, but in the end I have to shrug my shoulders.  I don't know.  I usually tell them that like every other country in the world, the US is imperfect and a work in progress.  Germans with even more exposure to American media will ask even more difficult questions.  "We had a conversation about birth control in the 50s and it's settled now.  Why is it such an issue for you guys now?"  Once again, I don't have an answer for them.

Not every German does this and here are also Germans who really love America and will try to rationalize our weak social safety net.  "I think that taking out a student loan is an investment in your future.  It makes sense," one person said to me.  In America, of course it makes sense.  My education will open doors for me and the only way to get it was to take out loans.  However, I found that statement to be pretty rich coming from someone who is going to medical school for 100 euros/semester, when I have to pay $1,000 just to apply and I told him so.  It's not that I dislike my home country, it's just that I think we only deserve credit where credit is due.  There are plenty of things about the US education system that are better than the German one, but the part where it bankrupts its students is not one of them.

For all their pearl-clutching, Germany is not a perfect society free of prejudice.  Women are less represented in German firms than in American firms and the Christian Democratic Union actually in some ways reinforces gendered-stereotypes.  The German schooling system also separates children at a young age.  There are a lot of socioeconomic factors that go into where you will end up.  A child whose parent went to a university is four times more likely to go to a gymnasium than a German whose parent went to a lower tier school.  Even my most progressive German friends will argue that the inequalities in this system don't matter.  Also, racism in Germany is not met with the same pearl-clutching and I really wish it was.  Germans are more than welcome to clutch their pearls and wring their hands over inequality in the US, as long as I get to do likewise towards Germany.  However, smugness is never welcome.  Both countries have progress to make.