Things Fall Apart

...and by things, I mean my German.

Americans who have tried to learn a foreign language (and I mean TRIED, not just fulfilling your high school's language requirement and calling it a day) generally understand what I'm talking about when I discuss my daily issues with German.  However, for the rest of people, I have tried to come up with ways to adequately describe what it feels like to speak German.  As I got better in German over the years, I started being able to discuss a wide variety of topics.  However, English was easier.  I often compared the two languages to searching for under water treasure.  It's easier to see your way around a crystal clear ocean than in a muddy lake.  Of course, if there's a way to let the mud settle, things become easier.  But how do we let the mud settle?  One way I liked to describe it is using the subject I have the strongest love-hate relationship with, chemistry.

This is an energy diagram.  Imagine you're a bowling ball sitting on this diagram.  You're a good, studious bowling ball, so you want to do your German homework, but you're speaking English right now.  Look at how high that hill is!  Sure, you can speak and read German without getting over it, but you probably won't get a good grade, since the water is too muddy for you to function properly.  You have to get over the entire hill to work at your fullest capacity.  How do you do that?  By thinking, listening to, and reading German until you've succeeded.  And by the way, see what a tiny hill there is to switch back to English?  You better be careful!  Something simple like an English song or your friend interrupting you might push you back.  

That was in college and this is now.  Now I am used to being entirely surrounded by the German language while still having contact with people at home who speak no German.  My German has improved enormously, so switching has been very quick and painless.  I am now completely indifferent to what language I must listen to or read in.  Listening to German has become just about as easy as it would be to hear English.  However, that brings me to my second problem with German.  I cannot speak it when I'm tired.  I can hear something and understand it completely, but then when it comes time for me to talk, all syntax, pronunciation, and complex vocabulary dies.

My internship started on Wednesday of this week.  I was a student before this, but I didn't have all that much to do.  My sleep schedule was self-regulated, which means that most days I could go to bed late and get up late.  For my internship, I have to come to the lab between 9am-10am, so this has not been possible.  While I transition to a getting-up-early sleep schedule, I am exhausted and my German has been rough.  Yesterday I couldn't pronounce "sechzehnte" and today I couldn't pronounce "Kontamination".  Yikes.  I'm sure once I get used to going to bed on time, my German will come back. Luckily right now, I'm doing a lot of learning and listening, so hopefully my lab hasn't noticed the problem.